Posted by: conservativecritic | March 6, 2011

The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Come…

“Winston, come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her

        husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually

        Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game

        between  Detroit  and  Washington  .  Ever since the government passed the

        Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its

        “unseemly violence” and the “bad example it sets for the rest of the world,”

        Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch

        wasn’t nearly as exciting.


        Yet it wasn’t the game that Winston was uninterested in.  It was more the

        thought of eating another Tofu Turkey.  Even though it was the best type of

        Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity

        Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which

        already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn’t

        anything like real turkey.  And ever since the government officially changed

        the name of “Thanksgiving Day” to “A National Day of Atonement” in 2020 to

        officially acknowledge the Pilgrims’ historically brutal treatment of Native

        Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.


        Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting.  The unearthly gleam of

        government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even

        weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since

        Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all

        thermostats-which were monitored and controlled by the electric company-be

        kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely

        tolerable throughout the entire winter.


        Still, it was good getting together with family.  Or at least most of the

        family.  Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had

        used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment. He had had

        many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when

        the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced

        into the government health care program.  And though he demanded she be kept

        on her treatment, it was a futile effort.  “The RHC’s resources are

        limited,” explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the

        phone. “Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled.

        I’m sorry for your loss.”


        Ed couldn’t make it either.  He had forgotten to plug in his electric car

        last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021

        outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government

        officials.  The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed

        didn’t want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and


        Thankfully, Winston’s brother, John, and his wife were flying in.  Winston

        made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion.

        No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon

        after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely

        aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a

        cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added

        “inconvenience” was an “absolute necessity” in order to stay “one” step ahead

        of the terrorists.” Winston’s own body had grown accustomed to such probing

        ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a

        crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022.  That law made it a crime to

        single out any group or individual for “unequal scrutiny,” even when

        probable cause was involved.  Thus, cavity searches at malls, train

        stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.


        The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a

        Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law

        intact.  “A living Constitution is extremely flexible,” said the Court’s

        eldest member, Elena Kagan.  ” Europe has had laws like this one for years.

        We should learn from their example,” she added.


        Winston’s thoughts turned to his own children.  He got along fairly well

        with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him.

        Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at

        any time, even during Atonement Dinner.  Their only real confrontation had

        occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was

        all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.


        His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was

        the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the

        bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were “just around

        the corner,” but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that

        ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn’t help

        that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in

        the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018,

        which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being.

        Winston paid the $5000 fine, which might have been considered excessive

        before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13.

        The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated

        was, once again, to “spur economic growth.”  This time they promised to push

        unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not

        particularly hopeful.


        Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before

        remembering it was a Day of Atonement.  At least he had his memories.  He

        felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what

        life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make

        life “fair for everyone” realized their full potential. Winston, like so

        many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change

        when they didn’t happen all at once, but little by little, so people could

        get used to them.


        He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there

        was still time, maybe back around 2010, when all the real nonsense began.

        “Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today if we’d just said ‘enough is

        enough’ when we had the chance,” he thought.


        Maybe so, Winston.  Maybe so.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: