Posted by: conservativecritic | September 25, 2012

The Ghost of Thanksgiving 2013 Yet to Come…

“Winston, come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her

husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually

Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game

between Detroit and Washington . Ever since the government passed the

Civility in Sports Statute of 2013, outlawing tackle football for its

“unseemly violence”, the bad refereeing and the “bad example it sets for the rest of the world,”

Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch

wasn’t nearly as exciting.

Yet it wasn’t the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the

thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of

Veggie Meat available after Michelle Obama revised the American Anti-Obesity

Act of 2013, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which

already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn’t

anything like real turkey.

And ever since the government officially changed

the name of “Thanksgiving Day” to “A National Day of Atonement” in 2013 to

officially acknowledge the Pilgrims’ allegedly brutal treatment of Native

Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of

government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even

weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since

Obama’s EPA  passed the Power Conservation Act of 2013, mandating all

thermostats-which were monitored and controlled by the electric company-be

kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely

tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the

family. Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had

used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment in ObamaCare. He had had

many heated conversations with Obama’s  Regional Health Consortium, spawned when

the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced

into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept

on her treatment, it was a futile effort. “The RHC’s resources are

limited,” explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the

phone. “Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled.

I’m sorry for your loss.”

Ed couldn’t make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car

last night, the only kind available after Obama’s Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2013

outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government

officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed

didn’t want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and


Thankfully, Winston’s brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston

made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion.

No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon

after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely

aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a

cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added

“inconvenience” was an “absolute necessity” in order to stay “one” step ahead

of the terrorists.” Winston’s own body had grown accustomed to such probing

ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a

crowd gathered, via Obama’s Anti-Profiling Act of 2013. That law made it a crime to

single out any group or individual for “unequal scrutiny,” even when

probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train

stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a

Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law

intact. “A living Constitution is extremely flexible,” said the Court’s

Elena Kagan. ” Europe has had cavity search laws like this one for years.

We should learn from their example,” she added.

Winston’s thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well

with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him.

Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at

any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had

occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was

all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was

the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the

bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were “just around

the corner,” but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that

ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn’t help

that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in

the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2014,

which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being.

Winston paid the $5000 fine, which might have been considered excessive

before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE4.

The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated

was, once again, to “spur economic growth.” This time they promised to push

unemployment below its rate of 18%, but Winston was not

particularly hopeful. It just seemed to create inflation rather than create jobs or encourage

consumer spending.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before

remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least he had his memories. He

felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what

life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make

life “fair for everyone” realized their full potential. Winston, like so

many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change

when they didn’t happen all at once, but little by little, so people could

get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there

was still time, maybe back around 2013, when all the real nonsense began.

“Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today if we’d just said ‘enough is

enough’ when we had the chance,” he thought.

Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so.

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